Comparison Is Not the Thief of Joy

I might sound very contradictory right now, but depending on what your goals are, comparison is not the thief of joy.

I compare myself all the time. I actually spend a lot of time comparing myself, and I always did. If done right, it can push you. If done wrong, it can drag you.

What Comparison Gave Me

If it wasn't for comparison, I wouldn't have a lot of what I have today. Some partnerships, organizations I discovered during comparison sessions with people ahead of me.

I saw a guy who landed Microsoft. Instead of feeling bad about it, I studied what he did. I looked at his background, his projects, the organizations he was part of. That comparison led me to find communities and opportunities I didn't even know existed.

Comparison showed me what was possible. It gave me a map.

The Difference Between Push and Drag

Done right, comparison pushes you forward. You see someone doing something you want, and you study how they got there. You find the gaps in your own knowledge. You discover resources and paths you didn't know about.

Done wrong, it drags you down. You see their results and feel inadequate. You assume they're just better or luckier. You give up before you start.

The difference isn't in what you see. It's in what you do with it.

How I Use It

When I see someone achieve something I want, I don't stop at admiring or envying. I dig deeper:

• What organizations are they part of?
• What projects did they build?
• What skills do they highlight?
• Who do they connect with?
• What path did they take?

This isn't stalking. It's learning. Every person ahead of you has left breadcrumbs. Follow them.

The Real Benefit

Comparison isn't about feeling inferior. It's about finding direction. When you don't know what you don't know, looking at people who have what you want is the fastest way to figure it out.

That guy who landed Microsoft? He led me to discover tech communities I joined. Those communities led to partnerships. Those partnerships led to projects. Those projects led to opportunities.

None of that happens if I just scroll past and feel bad about myself.

It Depends on the Person

I'm someone that really wants to be the max version of myself. Sometimes it's not healthy. But for me, with my goals, it's worth it.

I even use LLMs to help me compare with people ahead and see the gaps I need to fill. I study their paths, their choices, their results. Then I identify what I'm missing.

Comparison is definitely not for everyone. But for me, it is. Just make sure you're comparing to learn, not to despair. The people ahead of you aren't there to make you feel behind. They're there to show you the way forward.

Andrei Vince

Cloud & Backend Engineer

Cloud engineer & backend developer building real-time infrastructure, autonomous systems, and resilient cloud pipelines.